Vincent’s Secret

Who would have thought Vincent ratted out a secret right before he died? Although, I am guilty of getting lost to its negative premise from time to time, it has always been a helping hand. Repeatedly, it pulled me out of a terrorizing unwillingness to write due to a lot of possible rejection. I love the fact that everyone paid too much attention to its darker side, dismissing to take a second look at an unlikely angle. If everyone did, they would have known, and it wouldn’t be a secret after all. Vincent waited for his death and shared Theo his reluctance to pursue living. He said, “La tristesse durera toujours”. I believe him. He is right, sadness will be forever, and I say it is forever. It’s always here, by my side, keeping me company, and constantly thriving to block out my fears. I can hear it telling me in a subtle whisper, “Do it. What do you have to lose? I am already here. Are you scared of failure? I’ll serve you my famous deep fried pain. Success? Really?! A little bit positive are we? Don’t worry; I’ll drop you cues daily to keep you grounded.”

I may be a fool for accepting sadness in my life. But, it is my one definite companion. Over time, it had pulled me away from the weak and over bearing ego. It had given me balance in a rather odd way.  It is here to stay, reminding me to forget, let go of all those fears, giving me strength, to create, build, continue, and follow my own path stirring away from everyone’s perception of what should be. It’s the one thing that gives me freedom from all the unsolicited unnecessary rules. So, I say, cheers to sadness for breaking the shackles created by everyone’s belief. You are forever written in my countless days to come.

Sadness is forever, an unusual mantra I borrowed from Van Gogh, my poison, like wine and cigarettes filling my system with courage; also, my coffee, as it is my drive. Sadness is forever, and I can tell you in an unending repetition. You and I both know, it is an existing reality. But, would you, dare continue?