Kill me at 3am


Kill me at 3am
When i’m at my weakest
I promise
I will not move
Nor dare even breathe
I have already lost a heartbeat
waking up will just be
A grand confirmation
Nightmare after nightmare
That you- are
No longer mine

Tie my hands behind my back
This time, my words
Are forever shut
Words that are mere facts
Lost every evident feeling
The lack of soul
Exhausted emotions
Wondering when
The momentous exile
Of an ordinary heart will happen
Hope had rippled across
Back never back to my soul

Kill me before 4am
When i’m deeply dreaming
Sitting by the river bend
Wishing i can still
Walk with you
While holding your hand
A quite perfect ending
For I’ll never notice
The dagger inside my chest
Hold me while i’m dying
As you tear
All sense and meaning
Which i have not found
When i started loving you

Kill me at 3am
When everyone’s asleep
No one’s watching
No one’s listening
The whole world drunk
In their own clutter
Voices trembling, mumbling
Singing cries of the lonely
Apprehended and arrested
Weeping the hours
Like the rest of us
Fallen madly
In this chaotic tantrums
When you are expected
To be quiet
Stability is so seductive
We’re stuck in this
Endless chase of
Being numb versus feeling something

So, yes, kill me at 3am
You already have my heart
What more harm will it do
Now that i know
How long your forever lasts
Your words will never fit
A rightful apology
But then go ahead
By all means
Coz aren’t i just another memory
An imprint that can be easily erased
I thought i existed
When you were around
So kill me one more time
And be damn sure
It will be the last..

Stars (My hopeful ego)

I could never live without the stars
I am a victim lying under, staring above
The opposite of pivotal existence
I do not own the world or the vast empty space
The planets don’t revolve around me
I am but a tiny speck, not even a glint
I fade with the earth’s enormous ocean

I am a false believer that rain rids our sins
If so, who cleanses the souls in the deserts?
A lifetime of memories I stopped collecting
In the absence of a stronger armor
But I am no warrior
There are spears that tear down my shield
I am not what you know of me
Even if you listened to my words
I cannot be a portrait of what you believe

Judge me; I’m glad I do not own your lips
Tell everyone what I’ve done
Be sure to perfect all the twists
No one knows me but me
I do not solicit in the views
On this window of Johari
I am a dust
Against the constant cries of insanity
I cannot offer you clues to my mind
A bind of privacy someone forgot to legalize

The only truth I can give you
I am dead without the stars
That fading twinkling glimpse of hope
Without it-
Tragedy comes without scars
It is no better than
Death for the hopes of everyone

Monday, May 12, 2014